


Sleepless in Neverwinter

by InfiniteJest



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: AU, F/M, M/M, TAZ - Freeform, lup/barry - Freeform, taako/ kravitz, the adventure zone - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-01
Updated: 2018-12-01
Packaged: 2019-09-02 22:10:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,526
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16795720
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/InfiniteJest/pseuds/InfiniteJest
Summary: This is a just a little story inspired by a class I'm taking on the psychology of sleep. In this story, Magnus, Merle, and Taako experience sleep deprivation and all of the negative side effects that come along with it. Please enjoy!





	Sleepless in Neverwinter

Taako, Merle, and Magnus stand at the edge of Goldcliff. Magnus is holding onto a battered warlock.  
“You’ll regret this” the warlock says.   
“I think we’re actually pretty chill my dude” Taako replies haughtily. He’s spinning the warlock’s wand in his hand.  
“Yeah, you’ve done some pretty terrible things if you don’t mind me saying” Magnus says.  
“But it’s not too late to fix that. Have you heard of the good word of Pan?” Merle holds up his Xtreme teen bible and shuffles through, looking for a good passage. Not that he’d know, never having read the thing.   
“You fools! You don’t think this is over.“ The warlock resists against Magnus’s grip on his shoulders. He points his bound hands at Taako’s face.  
“Well, you are going to prison” Magnus shrugs. The warlock makes a sudden jerking motion, startling Magnus and making him loosen his grip. The warlock manages to tear the wand from Taako’s hands and mutters a spell that envelops all of them in a burst of light.  
“What was that?” Magnus asks, regaining his hold on the warlock.  
“You’ll see” the guy says, spookily.  
…  
Kravitz steps through the a portal into his and Taako’s living room. The elf is bundled up on the couch, nursing a giant mug of coffee that reads “litches get stitches.”  
“Morning babe” Taako yawns.   
"Good morning darling. How did your mission go yesterday?” Kravitz hangs his coat and come to sit on the couch, lifting Taako legs so his feet rest in his lap.  
“I was amazing as per usual. Totally kicked the bad guys butt,”Taako says around another yawn.  
“It sounds like you’re a little tired out. Did you get enough sleep last night?”  
“A full 10 hours my dude, I’m fine.” Taako waves his hand in the air. Kravitz catches it and places a kiss on the back, Taako blushes.  
“So you’re still up for that shopping trip today?”  
“Are you kidding? I’d be up for it even if I was a half dead bubaluh.” Taako is up off the couch, hat and cloak on before Kravitz has time to blink. He chuckles at his boyfriend and joins him.  
…  
Magnus is playing keep away with the dogs until they all decide to gang up and tackle him to the ground, covering him in slobber. He laughs and wipes his face as he stands again.  
“Okay guys, I’m going to work in the shop for a bit. Roger, you’re in charge” He points to a small jack Russell terrier who looks both confused and happy about this news. He proceeds to bark at the larger dogs until they let him have the ball.  
Magnus makes his way to his workshop “Where did I leave my…ah…there you are!” He scoops up his half-carved duck. He whistles while he works and is almost done when--  
“Ow! Dang it! I haven’t cut myself in ages!” He looks down at his hands, shocked. His thumb is bleeding. “Maybe I need a nap”  
…  
Merle is spending the day with his kids at the beach. He didn’t sleep at all last night. He blames it on eating some weird mushrooms for dinner. Sure everyone else ate them too but—  
“Oof”  
“Dad! Dad! Look what I found!” Mookie says from where he sits on his dad’s chest.  
“That’s great, son, but dad is trying to take a nap. Now if you could leave me the f- I mean, leave me alone, that would be great.”   
“Sure thing, pops. I’m gonna find more seashells” Mookie runs off to the water.  
“Tired dad?” Mavis says. She’s sitting under a nearby palm tree reading a book.  
“Just a bit sweetie”  
“I can read to you from my book if you’d like” she suggests.  
“Oh god no. I mean, if you think it will help” Merle kind of saves.  
“I think it might. Once upon a time…”  
…  
“Take that you umm, uh, big uh fish!” Taako yells as he turns of the squids legs into stone, making it sink a whole ten feet to the ocean floor.  
”Big fish?” Magnus raises his eyebrow. He raises Rail-Splitter to strike down on one of the squid legs. He misses and the squid wraps the tentacle around him instead.  
“Shut it I didn’t get a lot of sleep last night” Taako says, dogging another tentacle coming his way.  
“Really? I haven’t been sleeping well either” Magnus says, managing to strike the squid with the chance lance and wiggle free.  
“Would you please shut up while I try to think of a spell. If anyone has a right to complain it’s me. I haven’t slept at all the past two nights and I was really hoping to have that reoccurring dream about Kenny Chesney again” Merle says regretfully.  
“Shut up old man do you know how hard it is to look like this—“ Taako points to his face, “without proper beauty sleep? I had to spend three hours on my hair and makeup this morning!”   
“Don’t you always spend that long on hair and makeup Taako?”  
“Well today I HAD to, there’s a difference! You don’t understand. You wouldn’t know what fashion was if it bit you in the a-“  
“Hey I’m fashionable!” Magnus says hurtfully.   
“Those sideburns are real chick magnets, huh?” Taako says. Merle laughs  
“I don’t know what you’re laughing about. We’re not on the beach, what’s with the Hawaiian shirts?”  
“These are vintage!”  
“Hey where’s the squid?” Magnus asks. They all turn to see the squid has surprisingly vanished while they were arguing.  
…  
Taako is supposed to be cooking dinner. Instead he’s staring into the open fridge and cabinets with a blank expression on his face  
“You want my help bro?” Lup asks as she hops onto the counter.  
“No I’m good Lulu” Taako says.  
“We’ve got some gouda in there somewhere.”   
“Mhmmm.” Taako grabs the cheese.  
“Prosciutto? Eggs? Spaghetti?” Taako lays out these ingredients and then stares at them.  
“Ummm” he says.  
“Ummmm…” Lup says, waiting for Taako to realize what she’s set him up to make. “Carbonara?” she suggests finally.  
“Yes! Great idea Lulu.” He snaps out of it and immediately gets cooking.  
“No problem bro. Are you doing alright? You seem a little out of it”  
“Fine Lulu, just tired” Taako yawns as if to prove his point.  
“Tired? Didn’t you just wake up from a 5 hour nap?” Lup snorts.  
“Yes it’s hard to sleep when Barreled is nerding it up in the next room”  
“Hey I’m just reading” Barry says defensively from where he’s sitting in on the couch.  
“Exactly, you think too loudy” Taako says. Lup laughs. She hops down from the counter.  
“You want me to make the dessert bro?”  
“Sure thing, goofus.”  
…  
Merle is on his way to visit Lucretia when his hit by a giant sneeze attack.  
“Are you ok sir?” Angus says as he appears.  
“I’m ok. Hey, where did you come from?” Merle narrows his eyes.  
“I just finished a case sir, I was sharing my intel with the director” Angus blinks his big eyes innocently.  
“You’re not spying on me, are you kid?”  
“No sir, you haven’t done anything that requires spying on, have you?” Angus tilts his heads  
“Maybe I have and-“ Merle sneezes, “maybe I haven’t, it’s none of your business”  
“Ok sir but I’m a detective and Caleb Cleveland always says-“  
“Okay! I haven’t done anything” Merle interrupts before Angus can go on about his novels.  
“Are you sure you’re ok sir?” Angus asks.  
“Yes, now scram!”  
“Okay sir” Angus watches Merle as he walks away. He’s pretty sure he just found a new case.  
…  
“You ready to go babe?” Kravitz asks. He pokes his head intot he bedroom where Taako is adjusting his dress in the mirror.  
“How do I look?” he asks, striking a pose.  
“You’re beautiful” Kravitz answers, automatically and honestly.  
“Thanks bone daddy, but seriously do I look less hot than usual?” He strikes another pose so Kravitz can get a better idea.  
Kravitz rolls his eyes at the ridiculous nickname and says, “Maybe you look a little tired but-“  
“Hah, I knew it, we can’t go! No one can see Taako like this, it’ll ruin the brand!” Taako says, he throws his hand in the air. Kravitz comes fully into the room and embraces Taako  
“I assure you you’re as beautiful as ever. I was going to give you this later but I think you could use it now” He reaches into his pocket and brings out a long velvet box. He opens it to reveal a sparkly silver bracelet encrusted with tiny diamonds.  
“Wow babe that’s um” Taako says, blushing.  
“Well it’s almost our anniversary and I brought in a pretty big bounty last week so I thought…” Kratz rubs the back of his neck nervously.  
“It’s gorg! Put it on, would ya” Taako says, holding up his left hand.  
“Of course” Kraivtz smiles.  
…  
Taako is cooking for his friends while they lounge in the living room. Magnus is playing with Taako’s cat Lilith, well trying. She can smell dog on him and isn’t quite sure about him. Merle is watching Fantasy Bachelorette.  
*Ring ring* “Taako are you there?” Barry says from Taako’s stone of Far speech where it sits on the counter.  
“Is that Barry? Tell him I say hi!” Magnus says.  
“Hi guys I was wondering if I could get your help with the bounty I’m hunting down”  
“Do we have to?” Merle groans.  
“We’re kind of busy Barold,” Taako says stirring a pot of something delicious, “it’s a boys night and I’m making-“   
“I’ll pay you” Barry interrupts. Taako drops his spoon and leans over the Stone of Far Speech.  
“Now we’re talking, so what’s this bounty?” he asks.  
“Jasper Grey. Necromancer. Building a zombie army. The typical stuff” Barry says nonchalantly.  
“Why do you need our help?” Merle asks.  
“Well…I’ve actually got a bigger target” Barry says   
“There it is” Magnus says.  
“But there’s a great opportunity to catch this guy tonight and I’m just caught up so I don’t know if I’ll make it in time”  
“No problem Barry we’ll help you out” Magnus says determinedly.   
“Speak for yourself!” Merle says around a yawn that turns into a nasty cough.  
“Oh come on, old man. Barry is our friend” Magnus says.  
“Are you ok Merle? You sound sick” Barry says.  
“Yeah I’m fine just coughing up my lungs here,” Merle says. He coughs again.   
“We’ll give him a healing potion then we’re on our way. Where do we need to be?” Taako asks.  
“He’s going to be performing a ritual at midnight at Neverwinter Cemetery. He’s pretty powerful but if you catch him before he completes the ritual you should be good. He has a pretty powerful protection spell around him at all times. Physical blows won’t land until you take that spell down so don’t charge him Magnus” Barry explains.  
“Don’t worry Barry, we’ve got this” Magnus reassures him.  
“We do?” Mere coughs again.  
…  
They’re almost at the cemetery when Taako starts hitting himself in the arms.  
“What are you doing?” Magnus asks.  
“There’s a big bug. There’s another one! They’re all over me!” Taako yells.  
“Where? I don’t see anything”  
“Right there! Everywhere! They’re huge, look!” He takes of his cloak and starts stomping on it while still hitting his arms.  
“I don’t see anything”  
“They’re right there!”  
“Taako there’s nothing there!” Magnus grabs Taako and shakes him. Taako has his eyes closed. He opens them and looks around, seeing no big bugs.  
“Oh”  
“You ok?” Magnus asks  
“Yeah. Let’s keep going”  
…  
“He said we had to take the protection spell down first! Why would you attack him?” Taako yells at Magnus. The three are huddled behind tombstones. Taako and Merle are shooting spells at the necromancer. Magnus is propped against a stone, rubbing his head where he hit it when he landed after being blasted back by the protection spell.  
“”I forgot I guess?” he suggests weakly.  
“You guess?”  
“These bugs are driving me crazy!” Taako exclaims. Hitting his arms in between spells.  
“I’m telling you, there are no bugs!” Magnus says  
“They look pretty real to me my dude!”  
Merle has a coughing fit. He sits down.  
“You okay Merle?” Magnus asks. A burst of light come from where the necromancer stands.  
“Haha! Goodbye protection charm!” Taako says.  
“I’ve got this!,” Magnus rushes into battle.  
“I don’t feel well” Merle says. He slumps to the ground.  
“What do you mean—Ow!” Taako is hit with a stray spell from the necromancer as he tries to get to Merle’s side.  
“Taako!” Magnus takes a hit from the necromancer and goes down just as Barry arrives through a portal. He’s in reaper form and quickly takes the guy down, binding him with a spell and sending him through another porta to the Stockade.  
“Thanks for the help guys. I—“ He looks around to see his friends laying on the ground around him. “Oh.”  
…  
“It wasn’t that bad!” Magnus says. He, Taako, and Merle are laying in infirmary beds in the med center on the moon base. Merle has a healing bubble surrounding him. Barry and Lup are standing above them, looking worried and angry. Kravitz is clinging to Taako’s arm, he tries to keep a stern look on his face but Taako’s puppy dog eyes melt him.  
“Merle has been confined to a healing trance and you don’t think it was that bad?” Barry raises his eyebrow.  
“Well…” Magnus says.  
“It’s just as I thought,” Angus says as he steps into the room, everyone turns to looks at him. “They’ve been hit with a sleeping curse by the warlock from Goldcliff.  
“But I have been sleeping…” Magnus says confusedly.  
“What you got kid?” Lup asks.  
“You’re each suffering a different form of sleep deprivation. You can’t have NREM sleep, Taako can’t have REM, and Merle has total sleep deprivation.”  
“Really?” Kravitz asks. “You didn’t say anything was wrong Taako.”  
“I didn’t think it was that bad…”  
“Even without total sleep deprivation, you guys aren’t in a much better position than Merle.”  
“Tell us what’s up little dude.” Lup says to Angus.  
“Each stage of sleep is important. Without NREM Magnus has a difficult time remembering facts, and has decreased motor skills. Taako without REM is less creative, he can’t form connections as well as he used to, and he’s hallucinating while he’s awake like he’s dreaming. And with no sleep at all, Merle is rapidly approaching total immune system failure!” Angus says.  
“I’ve got a warlock to burn,” Lup says, her hands lighting with fire.  
“I’ll accompany you,” Kravitz says. They leave the room together, furious looks on their faces.  
“Well we’ll be okay after they break the curse won’t we?” Magnus asks.  
“There are lasting effects of sleep deprivation but I think you will pull through sirs,” Angus says.  
“Well I don’t know about you guys but I could use a nap. How do we know when the curse is broken?” Taako asks. He and Magnus then suddenly fall back onto their pillows. Merle begins snoring loudly, and very obnoxiously.  
“Sleep well sirs,” Angus whispers.


End file.
